Warren Buffett on True Power

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There are two distinct versions of myself: the Higher Happy Self (soul), and my Lower Darker Self (ego).

When faced with a challenging conversation, my Lower Self will often oscillate between being reactive/heated/defensive or cool/cold/harsh/unfeeling; both extremes acting as shields to my ego.

When activated, these “shields” or mechanisms have brought along many undesired mental and emotional side effects: anxiety (probably high blood pressure), insomnia, depression, resentment, rumination. The trickle-down effect of which has affected my relationships, resulted in poor judgement, analysis paralysis, stress, adrenal fatigue, frustration, and unhappiness.

The side effect of THAT has included weight gain, self-sabotage, reckless decision-making, procrastination, not going after my dreams, extreme fatigue/loss of motivation, and of course, the cycle continues. All triggered by one simple thing: the INABILITY TO HEALTHILY PROCESS MENTAL/EMOTIONAL CONFLICT, or what my ego perceives to be a threat.

I’m not sure what the answer is. It’s so much easier to share, give advice, and speak on social media as your “Higher Self”. But the reality is my (and most people’s) problems don’t stem from when I’m in that healthy, balanced state. They come up when the Lower Self is at play.

So the question is how do we effectively and consistently SHIFT that, coming from that lower, darker place? Going on long solo walks usually does the trick, but isn’t always convenient or possible. So what is the answer?

Let’s just say, I’m in the discovery, and it’s a great place to be.

#WhereHappinessBegins
Instagram @WhereHappinessBegins_

Letting go of the old, embracing the new

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Midnight Thoughts:

Dreams change. Priorities change. Weight, size, hair, skin change. Friends change. Jobs and career paths change. Favourite foods, books, drinks, hangout spots may change. PREFERENCES change. Values change. Who we want to invest time into changes – WHAT we invest time into changes. How we view money and finances changes. Where we’d like to live, who we’d like to be, and what we want out of life changes. What lights our soul and spark changes.

These kinds of changes to our “fundamental” selves can be scary. We spend so many years knowing ourselves as everything we’ve stuffed into this box of “Who I Am”, that sometimes we don’t even realize or WANT to accept that things may have changed – for the better, or for the worse (hopefully always better).

I’m personally going through one of those major shifts right now. I grow and change every day. Who I am now sometimes feels like a completely different person from who I was last month. Yet only very recently did I realize just how FUNDAMENTALLY different I am today in my mid-late twenties, from who I was just 4-5 years ago. Everything has completely changed, what I want has changed, yet I am/was still living like I was the same person. No wonder I’ve felt so unfulfilled, lost, and unhappy!

It’s so important to stop and acknowledge when a change or shift has happened, embrace it, reflect on our “old” self, then let go and bravely leap into the next chapter with abandon. No good is had holding onto our past selves and the things we USED to want.

The truth is, real happiness does not live in the past. It does not live in the future. It lives in the here and now where the real magic happens.

#WhereHappinessBegins
Instagram @WhereHappinessBegins_

Image by @AliceKassLingerie

Body Image: How You Feel Matters

Do you know how many times I’ve missed going out with friends and meeting people, turned down a new experience, or been in a snappy mood because I didn’t “feel” good about how I look?

Keyword: Feel. NO, I am NOT defined by my body, or how society and pop-culture trends deem I should look right now. AND, the appearance of my body and how I feel about it is often a direct reflection of my inner state.

When I’ve been taking care of my inner world – through nutrition, fitness, downtime, creativity, sleep – it manifests through my body in the quality of my skin, hair, weight, attitude, mental clarity, and emotional wellbeing.

Beauty stems from the inside out, not the other way around. So no, it may not be about how you look, but how you FEEL about how you look matters. The next time you’re feeling down about yourself, look inward and nurture the crap out of yourself until you feel like a queen again. Corny, but true.

#WhereHappinessBegins
Instagram @WhereHappinessBegins_

True Love Begins with Me, Myself & I

WHB When I Love Myself Quote

One thing I’ve really struggled with in my relationships is the ability to love myself first, and really owning my value and self-worth.

I’m constantly going back & forth between feeling super confident, loving and independent – and being needy, jealous and insecure. The difference is SO distinct, I actually refer to them as two separate states of being:

The WOMAN is confident, in touch with her emotions, logical, sensual, brave, and knows her worth. The LITTLE GIRL is insecure, indecisive, anxious, fearful, lives in past hurts, and needs constant validation.

What I’ve realized is The Little Girl tends to surface when I’ve been neglecting the habits and actions I know I NEED in order to keep my proverbial “cup” full and happy:

  • Some kind of movement and fresh air at least 3-4x per week
  • At least 6-7 hours of sleep at a reasonable hour
  • Mindful eating
  • Making sure I’m productive at work
  • Taking actions towards my dreams/goals
  • Taking actions and having honest conversations when something is bothering me
  • Keeping my home/environment organized and clean
  • Having a creative outlet/nurturing my craft(s)
  • Connecting with my community and the people I care about
  • Having enough reflective downtime
  • Making sure my partner and I are connected and spending quality time together

The list goes on!

I realize that no matter how amazing, patient, and incredible my partner may be, or how often he says the right things, I am only TRULY capable of allowing him to love me to the extent that I love myself. It all begins with me, myself, and I.

#WhereHappinessBegins #HappyThoughts
Instagram @WhereHappinessBegins_

Finding Where Happiness Begins

You’re – We’re – I’m it, babe.

I’m a firm believer in the notion that you are the only one responsible for your happiness, and making sure your “cup” is filled.

Others can contribute to your having LOVE, FRIENDSHIP, SUPPORT, LAUGHTER, ADVENTURE, AFFIRMATION, even SUCCESS—and if you’re not happy, confident, or fulfilled on the inside, none of it matters. Others can contribute to momentary happiness.

Ultimately, if you’re not happy with you, there’s nothing anyone else can do, say, give, or buy that will truly fill that void.

I won’t lie. It’s a bit of a rollercoaster ride. Some days, shit gets real messy. And you know what? Here’s to finding self-love, KINDNESS, gratitude, laughter, adventure, and kicking ass in spite of it ALL.

#WhereHappinessBegins #HappyThoughts
Instagram @WhereHappinessBegins_